Fear vs Trust

Next month we will visit a big city where we lived for two years.  With it comes an adventurous roadtrip of 2 days, seeing friends, visiting our church and hopefully some shopping thrown into the bargain! 

But i am not overly excited......actually i am quite fearful!  With malaria, food allegies, unknown roads, etc, etc i am not surprised that it is with fear and trepidation that i set off.....and there is that word fear again!

Sometimes, i just get so tired of always being out of my comfort zone!  I don't even know where this Zone is anymore!  :)  As i was reading a book about the life of William Carey to my boys, it really struck home.  Here he was, having just arrived in India after being at sea for 5 months and what does he do as he gets put ashore?  He starts preaching, eating, bonding with the people!  Wow!  But his poor wife did not do so well.....she had some good reasons and i think personally with today's help she would have made it, but it got me thinking.....

How many times do i choose to fear rather than trust?  And if i fear, i do it wholeheartedly and if i trust i do it with caution....how did this come about?  Don't i know my Father?  Don't i believe He has the best intentions for me?  Probably not, if i'm totally honest!  I do fear a lot of things!  And i must admit all the allergies have pushed me over the fearline into being terrified at times!!  Not a good place to be at all!

I read the other day in the Book that the Hebrews chose not to believe God and trust Him and so He ended their days in fear and futility!  Yikes!  I certainly don't want my life to end this way!!  But how do i really, really give all my fears to Him and trust Him unconditionally?  Please Father, i do believe, help me overcome my unbelief!

bella, needing to trust!