I am busy reading a book about Somalia. That troubled little country on the African horn. So many people just being wiped out. Christians instantly killed. Total anarchy. Totally without God. Or so it seems.
I also read a book about the Armenian genocide. 1,5 million people wiped out in the early 1900’s. They were believers and were killed by another religion’s followers. Men, women and children. Nearly a whole people group wiped out. Total anarchy and again it seems totally without God, not even any sign of intervention form God.
And so with these depressing, but true (some older and some more recent) historical human catastrophes in mind, I was troubled. It was a bit too close to home with all the renewed violence and random attacks this country has lately seen.
In all honesty, while reading, I kept hoping God will show up! This is how I pictured it – a thunder clap and all the bad people are stunned and if they are lucky – dead. Or in another scene just before the soldiers lop of their helpless prisoner’s heads, they will all be struck blind together with a terrible disease which lets them slowly suffocate or something like that (I do have a good imagination!) In any case, sorry for the graphics, but my point is that I wanted to see God somewhere in the picture and see Him BIG, because the ultimate enemy was so BIG all through the bad parts of history. I guess, I didn’t want to see God in the whisper but in the Mighty Storm, the Sword from Heaven the Lion of Judah and not the Lamb.
In all this, of course, I was really actually afraid for myself and my family. What would I have done in those circumstances? Is God in Himself enough for me? Or does He HAVE to do something for me in order that I keep following Him? (Like rescue me from something terrible) Especially in these times of uncertainly in this country and unfortunately even in my so called “home” country things are really bad and violent. How am I handling all of this even right now? Troubling thoughts for an early morning…..and then 2 things happened….
I looked out my window and saw a butterfly. At first I thought it was dead (yes, I was a bit morbid by now!!) but when I looked carefully, I saw that it actually just came out of the cocoon and was drying its lovely wings! It just sat there - very still and beautiful. Getting ready for LIFE!
The next things that happened was that I remembered a quote I read yesterday. William Danforth wrote “There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it’s going to be a butterfly”. (He is talking about kids and their potential here but somehow God used it to teach me something about His perspective on things)
Slowly the dots connected. It might not make sense to you as I firmly believe God talks to each of His children in different ways, but this to me made perfect sense. What I see (ie the caterpillar) might not to me be much, because I look at it with my NOW eyes. Now it is only a caterpillar and there is nothing that shows me this will be something colourful, graceful or beautiful in a few days or weeks! Absolutely nothing that gives any hint to this wonderful thing it will become! And even more wondrous that it will be able to FLY!!!
And so also with life. On those days that I feel my little green body with my many feet are killing me, or that I could not possibly eat one more green leaf, or even on those dark days in the cocoon, I needn’t loose hope, God has not forgotten me. I need to trust my Maker and try and look through His eyes. Not easy, I assure you, but it does give hope in utterly hopelessness. He has a plan. He is God, you know.
Bella, somewhere in the butterfly process.
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”