Sitting in a crumpled heap, tears streaming down my face…..yes, this is a normal day. It is not easy to live here. Isolation, always being an outsider (even in my own country) makes me feel very sorry for myself at times! Other times I cry for the people here - the hopelessness of the situation just makes me weep with frustration …..tears, and more tears.
I was flooding my floor with my tears again one day while thinking WHAT to share with the church back home…..”Yes, we are still learning – the culture, the language, how to keep on living here…..the same old same, I guess!” Well, while contemplating all this I realized what I would LIKE to share is God’s miracles – not small ones but BIG ones – to give Him glory, to wake up and shake the church so that they will see that He is the Living God and prove it too….but nothing came to mind and so I did what I do quite naturally, I cried. I know, not very strong am i?
In any case when we are weak, I mean really weak then God can be strong – so as soon as I was out of the way the Lord showed me a wonderful picture to make me see (me, not the church!!) And it has encouraged me so much, even though it doesn’t take away the hard, the difficult or the tears….
When a farmer is preparing a new field, he has a lot of hard work to do. He needs to take out all the grass – roots and all, chop down trees – roots and all, drag away all the piles of rubbish, flatten the land, get the plough out and plough it up a few times. Extremely Hard Work! (and if you don’t believe me just take a spade and go dig up a tree!! J )
And this is where we are – not in the wonderful-fruit-bearing-harvest-time, but in the time of preparation – a time marked by tears, toil and sweat! But our eyes are on the harvest to come!! Literally Preparing the Way!
And so I am encouraged to keep on.
Leeland’s song – “Tears of the Saints” says it all:
“This is an emergency
and there are tears from the saints
for the lost and unsaved,
we’re crying for them Come back Home!
Father we will lead them home……”
Bella, preparing and being prepared