It took one more crisis to open my eyes.
Yip, it was just one more day in an unending string of disasters and crises. These past few weeks were quite rough! And sadly when the going got tough, this tough did not get going.
We were tired and needed a break but then we had a disastrous break, topped with my husband getting malaria (see previous post for the more humorous side). We came back even more tired and discouraged.
Unfortunately it didn’t stop there. It just went from bad to worse as the days wore on.
Just to give a bit of context of where we are at – sharing about the life and ministry of Jesus in our weekly Bible teachings in this small rural village. Most hearing this for the very first time! So the battle is on.
My malaria hosting husband decided to go on with the lesson. So we put a bed in the study and he and his language helper worked hard on the lesson. In between lying down and sitting up he did it! The lesson itself was on the Birth of Jesus! The real Christmas story – with the shepherds, Herod the bad, the killing of all the little boys and all. The coming of the Deliverer was not a quite event as we depict it on our Christmas cards! It was a battle ground!
On the day of the lesson while playing with a kitten just before school, our one very allergic-to-bees-son was stung by …yip, you guessed it a red bee. Now in the past when he was stung he had quite the reaction. So much so that we carry an Epipen with us at all times. At first I was not sure it was a bee but as I went to fetch some vinegar to take out the sting I took some anti-histamine with me as well just in case. In my mind thinking that I won’t need to walk back to the house for it later if he needs it. (I was thinking it might have been a stinging fly) While taking it out I heard the Lord clearly say Give it to him now.
Back in the school room I now see it was a bee so I gave him the meds as well as the vinegar and some ice. All the things I would normally do and he would still swell up in any case….we prayed, I even posted it on fb. It was just one more thing and I was totally stressing out (inside of me) by this time, trying hard not to freak everyone else out. Kind of just going through the motions.
But nothing happened. Well, apart from the fact that my son was a bit in shock from the whole A bee Actually stung me. He did not swell up at all. He barely has a mark today. No itching, nothing. And I can assure you we have been through this once before and it was BAD. Especially living where we live it is quite dangerous.
The weird thing was I just kind of took it in my stride. Only this morning I saw it for what it was. A dear praying friend had written that when she saw my post she immediately began praying. She distinctly saw an army of angels around us!
The reason I am writing all this down is that over the past couple of weeks circumstances were really getting me down. It felt like God was far away. Not strong enough. Not helping. In fact the more things happened the more I thought that there is no-one for us. Even yesterday after the lesson when one guy got up and shared at first some truths but then went on a tangent of total nonsense saying Jesus was wrong to not take off his shoes when he prayed and blah, blah, blah. I was so cross that he kind of stole the show of the real story! That he, so to speak, cut Jesus down. I wondered why God allowed this! Where was He? (I will definitely NOT win the prize for the best missionary ever!! Haha!!) In any case, I was going downhill and fast. Feeling so defeated and dejected, downcast and discouraged. It took a bee sting for me to “see”.
I was looking down at all the things that went wrong or didn’t work out how I thought they should have. Like the disciples in the boat when a huge storm was raging and these experienced fishermen were afraid while Jesus was sleeping! They looked at the huge waves and not at peaceful, sleeping and not worried Jesus! So I was too. The waves scared me by this time. But with a word Jesus quieted the wind and sea. And with an email msg He made me see that He was here, right beside me!
An army was surrounding me and my family. God’s Army!! God was trying to get through to me but I missed them all. Yesterday just before the lesson Chris Tomlin’s song “God of angel armies – Whom shall I fear?” was playing over and over in my mind. It took a bee sting to open my eyes. To gain balance again. To know God has us in the palm of His hand and He will not let go. Even if it feels like it in a million or more ways. He is faithful, trustworthy and He never lies. He said that He will never, ever leave us or forsake us. He said He will be with us to the end of the earth. And so He is. With us. Emmanuel. God with us. I am not afraid anymore.
Rom 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Bella, clinging to the Rock of all ages.