July 11, 2011
But doing all of these well? Quite impossible! When the school is going well, the laundry suffers. When the laundry is going well, the cooking suffers! When the cooking is going well.....well, you get the picture. The problem is that there is rarely a normal day where everything falls in place and everything gets done!
Sometimes i long for a job where i can go to and go home from! With actual working hours! What a novelty That would be! 9 to 5 sounds quite tempting. But then again, i live in Africa and while we don't have watches, we have Time (and 2 Mr times too! read post below..)
So, mostly my life is a see-saw - now this side is up, next it's the other way around. problem is, i'm sitting on both sides - running from down side to upside.
How to regain balance? How to not feel totally overwhelmed every single minute of my day? Not too feel guilty when i trip over the clean/dirty clothes?
All very good questions and also much thought about ? too! I guess, i need to accept that most days will be like a see-saw and tomorrow something else will have priority. And somedays i will fall off my see-saw and wonder if it's worth climbing back on.....
It is then that ps 139 comes to mind.....You know when i stand up and sit down.....all my days are written in your Book....You know me......You formed me......
You know how much i can take!
bella, hoping for at least a balaced mind!
July 10, 2011
When we arrived close to their house, here mr Time jumped out from under the shadow of the tree, giving me a great fright with his sudden appearance. He was listening to his radio! Under the tree! Shocking!! We said that we have come to visit him and so off we go to his house. We sit on little benches with the nails dangerously poking through the "seat". We sit and see no wife, no mourners, no nothing.
Now, how many people do you know with the name Time? Or more relevant, how many do we know? One, of course! And take into account the people here don't speak English. And so we sit in shocked silence as we hear his wife went down to the river to wash clothes! Totally un-Y thing to do. "This is far worse than i thought", i'm thinking. Firstly they have many mourning days, they do not wash anything like clothes or cook meals, secondly they have family come and sit with them, wash and cook and i don't see anybody.......
Then we ask him gently - which is very difficult when one is learning a language - that we heard his baby passed away. But he only laughes shyly and say, "No, that is not me, it is the other Mr Time." Two in one small village, who would have guessed?
bella, timely pondering life.
July 08, 2011
Well, i must admit, i really don't feel like a rose of anywhere at the moment! I am more like a welted little something! Stressed out by life in general! A weed, maybe?
My middle son recently had a severe reaction to a bee sting! And so as his mother, i wanted to have him inside the house all day long - inside his mosquito net woud have suited me even better! But that is not the way to go - that is not a rose's way, that is the wilted something's way. A little worry weed, that's what i was!
I need to organise an event and things seem to take quite some interesting and stressful turns and so, was i the Rose? Oh no, i was the Weed!
I did not trust my Father, i did not think to take my worries to Him, who sees me as His Rose. I chose to believe all the lies about me - me the Weed!
Also recently, i reacted in haste, i responded way to honestly and in doing so, i have lost a friend. The rose would have waited a bit, would have had a sweet scent - nothing like what the Weed did!
And so, here i sit in all my worldly weedness and my Father comes to me and whispers softly in my ear - "You are a Rose of Sharon, a lily of the Valley". And i feel so incredibly humbled and loved. Even though i don't deserve it at all, i am His rose.....and so , Father change in me what needs to be changed, because i want to be that rose you see in me. Take away my sin and shame, help me to believe the Truth.
bella, a pruned rose.