There comes a point when “I am nothing” or “I can do nothing” can go either way.
What I mean is – i can use it as an excuse to feel very sorry for myself. See myself as extremely pathetic missionary. I can think I am totally useless. I don’t have enough training, do not have enough time, I am not enough ……This leads inevidently to thoughts that God could never use me, actually will not even choose me to work for Him and so on - a very nice and tidy downward spiral. Exactly where the enemy wants me!
Funnily enough, that is actually where Gods wants me too – but for a VERY different reason! He wants me in that place where I say – I cannot do it! I am too weak!! But instead of titling to the “oh, poor me” I tilt to “when I am weak, You are strong” and “without Jesus I can do nothing, but with Him, ……WITH HIM I can do all things!!!
Jesus chose uneducated fishermen to be His disciples – plain and simple. He could have had His pick of intellectuals – priests, Rabbi’s, teachers of the Law, whoever! But He chose fishermen. I always marvel at that verse in Acts where Peter and John were before the Sanhedrin and the leaders were amazed at the wisdom and boldness of the two men –then they remarked that these two were uneducated men, but had BEEN with Jesus! What a testimony!
Abide in Me, Jesus said. “I am the Vine and you are the branches, if a man remains in me (abide) and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from Me, you can do nothing’!! No amount of training, no amount of willful perseverance, no amount of self-sacrifice will bear any fruit if you are not close to Jesus, abiding in Him. Then you are truly useless!
And so, here I am with all my vaults and weaknesses and glad of them. Jesus take me as I am, let me abide in You, and You in me, so that even if it looks to the world that I will never be able to accomplish anything, I will bear fruit, and fruit that will last, and only because of You!
Bella, plain and simple.