Mindshifting...

 

Every month i ask the Lord for a word to center my thoughts around. June’s word was Hope. Hope in a month where i lost my job. Hope in a month where my youngest son got covid and me too (lighter though due to vaccine) but still sick and isolating for two weeks. Hope in a month of no-work-no-pay. Hope in a month where I couldn’t write my English exam and my timeline of applying for a job has shifted a bit further once again. Hope in a month where needed government documents still have not appeared. Hope in a month that my house is still not in my name. I could go on.

A verse of Hope every single day. In my own handwriting. And still i go to bed worried and wake up worried. I have no doubt that God can do anything, but questions of When and How and Will He do it for me? race through my mind. It has been a long time of rough seas and hope is running out. 

But then i stumble on this:

And i realize my mind is frantically trying to remind God about my dire straights. Banging as it is on His door. In my mind i am standing in the cold and dark hoping He will open and let me in. The truth actually is very different. I am His cherished child. He loves me. Hard to comprehend but He does. And He knows what and when i need it. If i think what i would do for my children - i would literally give my life if that was what they needed. So many times i stop at the Cross and know my eternity is sorted! but then i stress about my life on earth...and forget that Jesus also said “I have come so that they may have life and have it in abundance.” That definitely applies to this life here and now too. 

To be cherished. Isn’t that what we all long for in our earthly relationships? Cherish is such a beautiful picture of a soft, deep and full kind of love. And i breathe again, God cherishes us, me. I am His cherished one. And His love is perfect.

I have to shift my mind. I am not out in the cold. I am held in His arms and can relax. He has got this. He will make a way. He always has. And as my mind makes this shift from the little lonely, cold child standing outside the gates to a happy, warm and cherished one, my frantic prayers change. It becomes a conversation filled with hope. A conversation with my Awesome and Powerful Dad. 

Bella