lesson nr 123 678..........

i like taking my boys to school - i get to meet new people every day! "Hi" and "Bye" in front of the gate! Or i sit and wait for the boys' judo to finish or rugby match and i get to "talk" to the parents waiting.....not much, but hey, it's something isn't it??
Oh, how i miss having a good (girl)friend who finishes my sentences and knows when to laugh at my silly jokes and when to cry with me......(and just for the record, my dear husband is my best friend, it's just that i also need women in my life!!!)

it's one thing to be on furlough but quite another to be in a place where you know no one much deeper than "Fine, and you?"

I do think the Lord has me going through this for a reason - a lesson i really struggle with - finding myself in Him, being with Him and becoming strong in Him! What a hard lesson, i tell you! I once wrote "In acceptance there is peace" in a joking manner but what a true statement - esp for me!! Acceptance comes after a long and hard battle fought from my side!

Yesterday someone asked me what my greatest need was out there in the bush and I said "A Wonderful Woman Friend!" Afterwards i felt really guilty as i wondered if i haven't learnt a thing in the past couple of months!! Do I trust God to fill this need? No, sadly not! And now i have this man praying for something i know the Lord will not give an ear to (most probably later when i have accepted my "lot"). So there you go, my sad little truth!

I guess the lesson from the bush just intensified here in "civilization" and i realized the life i chose has it's cost - this side and that side of the border. Custa muito as they say in Portuguese! And so Lord, be gentle with me as i struggle along, i want to be learning from You it's just that some lessons are harder than others!! You are my ultimate friend!