Anklet reminders....

 A combination of too many cups of java, worries, ideas and a few too big dreams kept me awake. So awake that at 00:47 i gave up. The perks of sleeping alone is that you can put the kettle on, get some music going and not bother a soul. Except my own soul. I was definitely bothering my own soul. 

As i was lying very much awake in bed, i played out a couple of scenarios. None of them from a safe comfort zone point of view. I guess, living years outside of such a zone has made me used to new adventures. Actually, more than ready. But, admittedly, adventures are easier to go on with someone, but I don’t have that luxury now - so will this make me sit back and let life just slip by then? Do i create a safe and boring comfort zone life where my dreams don’t scare me? I think not. And so, i lay awake and wondered/worried how this is all going to turn out ....worrying a lot really, worrying if i was making a huge mistake, crazy or lost my common sense or a combination of all three? But then as Robin Williams once said “You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.” Haha! i confess i had always been the loose canon in our relationship - i blame God, who made me this way😁

Yesterday i used some of my birthday money to buy myself a very inexpensive little gift, inexpensive but with great value. Hold on, i am not that random, this is part of the story.... R30 for an ankle bracelet. I had one a few months ago, but the clasp broke and so I decided to go for a knotted cotton thread one. Kind of like a tiny macrame (i guess the macrame enthusiasts had to really think out of the box when the original craft died out) 😋

So, here i was with my tiny macrame knotted ankle bracelet. Quite pretty with little blue and yellow beads and even a small (albeit, corny) cowrie shell. I am not one for jewelry really but i had two very specific reasons for getting this - both were reminders - one to remind me of the sea and to carry a bit of it with me in case i wander too far one day. The second and more important one was to remind me that i am never alone. A sign around my right foot that God will be with me wherever i go. Wherever i put that right foot, i can know without a doubt that I am not alone. In fact - Never alone.

So, as i lay in bed with all these worries, hopes and scary big dreams and wondering how it will all pan out, the little shell pressed against my ankle and i was reminded. Never alone. 

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”‭‭

I can be strong. I can be courageous. I can be fearless. I can be encouraged. God is with me. And i can definitely go to sleep now!

Bella, reminded