What If’s and friends

 After a beautiful hike on Saturday I wasn’t ready to go home yet, so i decided to take an unfamiliar scenic road home. What I didn’t know was that my data had run out and Waze would soon give up trying to get me home.

The scenic route was definitely worth it and i enjoyed seeing spectacular views of the Indian Ocean from high cliffs. I was happily driving along when suddenly i realized my gps wasn’t working anymore and apart from the general westerly direction i was going in, i was kind of lost. I swallowed a squeaky panicky sound and bravely drove on, deciding on a whim if i should continue straight or turn left.... the road was by now quite deserted with potholes everywhere. What if i got a flat tyre? Will i be ok? What if i get so lost in these mountains between the sea and the valley that i use up all my diesel before finding a gas station... and 10x more what if’s popped into my already overactive imagination. But i drove on. With shaky knees by now. This sadly, is South Africa after all.

Just as panic wanted to seize control, i decided no more. I cranked the music up. I put my window down, i felt the warm air, i stuck my arm out and made waves. I wasn’t stranded yet, so why was i acting like it? And then it hit me. How many times do i act as if i am stranded, abandoned, alone, or whatever? Shockingly - Too many times i act on what i think might happen, or might not happen. Living in the land of What If’s and friends.

And that is not living. That is dreading. Jesus came to give Life, and Life to the Full. On Earth. Right here and now. I have this day. I have This moment to sing loudly, I have This moment to feel the wind in my hair. I only have Now. I want to Live. No more What If’s.

As my little van rounded a bend i saw a whole fleet of cars on the side - another hike with smiling hikers. I wasn’t alone after all. I soon found the right road and happily went west and towards home. Glad for another lesson of Living in the Now. 

Bella