Connection

 

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one!" 

(CS Lewis)

The buzz words nowadays are weird. Words like Self-isolation, Quarantine, Masks, Social Distancing, etc have left a definite mark on our world. They enter into nearly every conversation we have. I have been thinking a lot about it. Actually since last year with the first Lockdown announcements. There’s another word for the list: Lockdown. Phew. We are creatures who crave connections. When we are at our lowest we mostly feel alone, or might even think we are the only ones going through whatever the hard thing is. And just like in a moment when a new friendship is born - as CS Lewis very aptly put it - when we realize we are not alone, things lighten up.

We were made for connection. We need interaction. Companionship. But instead we are Isolated, Quarantined, in Lockdown. I am not contesting against these things, more contemplating the ripple effect of it all. And most probable, if I wasn’t alone, i might not have felt it so bad. But it is what it is and i am alone. But...i am not the only one. There are many lonely people - even in relationships. Loneliness comes in all shapes and sizes. Isolation, Quarantine, Lockdowns also come in many forms. And these have nothing to do with a virus named for its crownlike features....

I can only talk for myself, of course, but i have somehow, learnt  some form of contentment. I had a lot of freedom when i was married, so its not like i relish my freedom now. But in a way i am even more free to do what i please. Eat popcorn for supper. Go to bed at 12 or not. (More likely not😋) I can decide at the drop of a hat to go for a walk or to take a nap. What to buy or not to buy is entirely up to me. So, freedom is good and i do like it, but I do miss the deep connection i had. I think sometimes i can feel myself pine away wishing i could just get that back. I really need to connect to someone on a deeper level. But this is something you cannot force or fake or be so desperate that you make really bad choices....i had to snap out of it so....

I searched and found a list of verses that all talk about God never leaving us or forsaking us. I wrote them all down. A mini Bible in my bullet journal. And i must admit, God has been so close but at the same time so far away. I do wish for an audible voice, even a simple hug with human arms would be nice...but corona has her say there as well. Sigh. Just think, mainly we text. No voice. If we are lazy we voice-note at least. We scroll through facebook soundless, the only sensation is the slightly warm screen. We work from home. Or don’t work at all. We keep our distance.

I am rambling today. So back to my point. Connection is so important. I was reminded of this today after a chat with someone i knew when i was 7 years old. And a few times i nearly said “What? You too?” It made my isolation seem less isolated. It made me realize i am not the only one. It gave me that little bit of hope for the next stretch in the journey. It gave me hope and for that i am thankful.

Bella, rambling rose.