Choices

Once again i found myself at Rock bottom. A familiar place by now. Everything that could go wrong, did. I didn’t know how to fix things, and i had to no comforting arms to run to (on earth, that is) and i fell into my pit of Lost Things. I didn’t even try and brace the fall. I was free falling all the way. And on my way down i was listing all the sad, the bad and the not-so-good. Quite a list (it was a long way down, so I had time.)

Two things kept interrupting my free falling list though - one was a song by Robin Mark “Will your anchor hold” (a very old hymn) .....

Will your anchor hold in the storms of life?
When the clouds unfold their wings of strife
When the strong tides lift, and the cables strain
Will your anchor drift or firm remain?

And the other thought was this bit in Habakkuk

“Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, 
though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, 
though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, 
yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to tread on the heights. 
For the director of music. On my stringed instruments.”‭‭ 
Habakkuk‬ ‭3:17-19‬ ‭

As they interrupted my free falling, i noted that in above mentioned and quoted bits there were Storms, Strife, Strong tides, Strained cables, Fruitlessness, No harvest, Failed harvest, No animals left....kind of summing up my life. Plus, i was feeling quite alone in this state of desolation, but it has been an age-old problem. Life is Hard and there are a variety of hard. I wasn’t alone in my suffering. As this realization hit me i also hit the bottom of my self pity pit. I see now i had choices to make. I could keep on wallowing (this was not just pure grief any longer, there is a time for everything...this was feeling very sorry for myself) or i could stop it and look up and out. I could choose to rejoice in the Lord. I could be joyful in my Savior. Yes Savior. One that saves. One that saved me. Be joyful in Him! (The very essence of Christmas right here!) And not only a Savior God, but also a Sovereign one. One Who is my strength should i choose it. And the surprising bit at the end - for the director of music. On my stringed instruments. I love it. Sing. Play the stringed instruments. Sing this Even if song. Rejoice. And this enables me to tread on high places. Places that are far from deep pits. An Anchor that will hold, no matter what. I am held.

I can honestly not say that after all this that i climbed out of that pit. It was a solid search and rescue effort form my Savior. I was that one sheep that got lost but who was found. And i am so thankful. I keep close to the heels of the Good Shepherd not letting Him out of my sight. Although to be fair, He is the One who is not letting me out of His sight.

Bella, yet I will rejoice in the Lord - its a matter of survival.

“ We have an anchor that keeps the soul

Steadfast and sure while the billows roll

Fastened to the Rock which cannot move
Grounded firm and deep in the Savior's love

We have an anchor that keeps the soul
Steadfast and sure while the billows roll
Fastened to the Rock which cannot move
Grounded firm and deep in the Savior's love
Let's try the first verse, "Will your anchor hold..."

Will your anchor hold in the storms of life?
When the clouds unfold their wings of strife
When the strong tides lift, and the cables strain
Will your anchor drift or firm remain?
(We have an anchor)

We have an anchor that keeps the soul
Steadfast and sure while the billows roll
Fastened to the Rock which cannot move
Grounded firm and deep in the Savior's love

Lord though you know all our ways
Yet your love for us endures
Amen”