The day i bought a papaya

The day i finally decided to buy a papaya in the store was also the day i brought home a wheelchair with neck support. Yes, this was my Friday. How are times defined? When do you know you have stepped over a seemingly invisible line and yet you undoubtedly know you are now in a next chapter? ( and there is no turning back to happier times)

The papaya was one of those. The line was crossed. No more papayas from my own trees. I live here now. A new set of rules, a new way of life.

It started with a bad headache, progressed to calling the hospice nurse followed up by the neurologist and new GP, now we have wheelchir complete with necksupport in our sitting room. I think this is what made me buy those papayas. It was my way of saying, "ok, i relent. I accept. This is the new normal."

It is also the day on which I read about being thankful. That thankfulness leads to gratefulness and then this leads to praising God. So, here i stand with my tropical bought fruit syaing Thank You that we have money to buy these things. And here i drive with wheelchair high in my Caddy and i say Thank You for loving people who borrow without wanting anything in return, for people who phone around for me, who carry a little bit of my load. Thank You, i sigh, as my boys carry and lift and write from afar to encourage...Thank You.

I can choose today to look at the pale papayas and feel disappointed. I can cast my eyes on the wheelchair and feel discouraged or ...... I can look upwards and be grateful. There is still so much to be grateful for. So, so much.

Thank You, Abba Father. May my thankfulness bring praise to You.

Bella.