The day i bought a papaya



The day i finally decided to buy a papaya in the store was also the day i brought home a wheelchair with neck support. Yes, this was my Friday. How are times defined? When do you know you have stepped over a seemingly invisible line and yet you undoubtedly know you are now in a next chapter? ( and there is no turning back to happier times)

The papaya was one of those. The line was crossed. No more papayas from my own trees. I live here now. A new set of rules, a new way of life.

It started with a bad headache, progressed to calling the hospice nurse followed up by the neurologist and new GP, now we have wheelchir complete with necksupport in our sitting room. I think this is what made me buy those papayas. It was my way of saying, "ok, i relent. I accept. This is the new normal."

It is also the day on which I read about being thankful. That thankfulness leads to gratefulness and then this leads to praising God. So, here i stand with my tropical bought fruit syaing Thank You that we have money to buy these things. And here i drive with wheelchair high in my Caddy and i say Thank You for loving people who borrow without wanting anything in return, for people who phone around for me, who carry a little bit of my load. Thank You, i sigh, as my boys carry and lift and write from afar to encourage...Thank You.

I can choose today to look at the pale papayas and feel disappointed. I can cast my eyes on the wheelchair and feel discouraged or ...... I can look upwards and be grateful. There is still so much to be grateful for. So, so much.

Thank You, Abba Father. May my thankfulness bring praise to You.

Bella.

Comments

  1. Belinda.. you have no idea how your words encourage me. It has helped me to look at my own situation differently. My heart aches for you all. I really wish that i could go bazck in time for another cup of coffee sitting on the floor if your room at asm.. love you all 😙

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  2. Thank you for writing!! You are amazing!

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