Passover message to myself....

We all have those moment when we are hurt by others. Sometimes intentionally, other times not. But hurt nonetheless. Keeping a lid on all the things that happened has not been the best way of coping for me. Lately i have had sudden remembrances just pop up out of nowhere. Painful things i just put a lid on. This morning, i was standing in the shower composing a few lines of what i would like to say if given the chance... but knowing full well, it will never happen.

But still, i had to do something with these unhappy thoughts...Feeling that there is just no justice and thinking that with a few choice words i could speak up for myself i started again thinking how i would form those words....but to no avail. A great Fantasy. And in that moment i knew God had arrested my heart and thoughts. I knew my way was not going to work.

The only way out of this is to....forgive. And move on. Oh, to be Free.

So, i pictured myself with soft rose petals in my hands and as i threw them up into the air - signifying, no doubt - how i let go of these hurts, and as they went up in the air they turned into beautiful butterflies. Complete with a dramatic music crescendo! (I do have quite the imagination😉) Goodbye bad memories, goodbye hurts....

But no, this was Not the Picture. As i looked down on my fists holding so tightly to all the hurt and pain of words said and not said, things done or not done, etc, i saw my hands turn red between the gaps in my fingers. And as i slowly (and reluctantly) opened my hands it wasn’t soft rose petals but burning rocks that i was holding on to. Of course, i immediately let them drop (in my imagination) and i realized, this is what God wanted to show me.....

Why hold on to burning rocks? Drop them. Cool your hands. This is for your own good to let it go.
Let.It. Go. Forgive as I have forgiven you.
And i do just that.

Bella, forgiven for so much