Lasts

It is very easy to get excited about Firsts. The First breath and piercing cry of a newborn baby. That first step a toddler takes. The first tooth that appears or falls out. That first bike ride without training wheels. A first kiss. A first car or apartment....Some firsts are joyful, others sad - but firsts nonetheless. The thing with Firsts is that there is usually a second, a third even a 26th time. There is usually time to catch up if you missed that first. 

But Lasts...well, mostly you do not realize that it was a Last until it never happens again. And there is nothing you can do to catch it on a next round. And so, with ALS there are many, many Lasts. The last time you could walk. The Last time you could swallow. The last time you could speak....And it is heartbreaking not knowing when something will be a Last.

So much loss in so little time. So many Lasts. Some you see coming and you hold your breath, others take you by surprise and leaves you breathless....

And today I was just sad because of all the recent Lasts. And as I sat pondering the words of Psalm 139 kept running through my mind...

”You know when I sit and when I stand “

..and “Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”

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God knows. God sees every First and every Last. Everything - every First and every Last and all the In Betweens are written down ! God ordained all our days. All our Firsts and also all our Lasts. Plus Jesus calls Himself the Alpha (the 1st) and Omega (the Last). And it gives me great comfort in this time of Lasts....

Bella